Being told pain is psychological can delay meaningful care.
Leilani had already tried the advice she was given to relax and use lubricant. Her story shows why persistent pain deserves careful listening and a broader evaluation instead of dismissal.
All podcast guests
Leilani Volkman
Realtor, Mother & Pelvic Health Storyteller
Utah
After 13 years of painful intimacy, Leilani shares the dismissal, treatment, body awareness, and gradual trust that changed her experience.
About Leilani Volkman
Lived ExperiencePainful IntimacyPelvic Floor AwarenessPatient AdvocacyOpen Conversation
In this conversation
- Being dismissed when pain is real
- Protective tension and body awareness
- Rebuilding comfort without pushing through pain
Leilani Volkman is a Utah realtor, a mother of three, and a graduate of Utah State University with a bachelor's degree in psychology. Her professional biography centers on service, honesty, and open conversation. Those same values shape the personal story she chose to share on Healing at Your Core.
For 13 years, Leilani experienced pain with intimacy after being told the problem was psychological. Her symptoms became worse after her third C-section. She later found pelvic floor physical therapy, learned that she was holding protective muscle tension without realizing it, and worked gradually on awareness, relaxation, and rebuilding comfort and trust in her body.
Leilani joins Bree for an open conversation about painful intimacy and the process of seeking better answers. She describes what dismissal felt like, what surprised her during therapy, and why speaking plainly about pain can help other people realize they are not alone or expected to simply endure it.
Leilani on Healing at Your Core
EP. 04 · Aug 6, 2026
Overcoming Painful Intimacy with Leilani Volkman
Leilani Volkman shares how pelvic floor therapy resolved 13 years of painful sex, revealing the nervous system link and steps toward lasting relief.
Watch, listen, and read the episodeIdeas worth carrying forward
A few grounded takeaways from Leilani’s conversation with Bree.
Protective muscle tension can happen outside conscious awareness.
Leilani did not know she was tightening until it was identified during an assessment. Learning to notice and release that response became an important part of reconnecting with her pelvic floor.
Pushing through pain can reinforce fear and protection.
The therapy described in the episode progressed gradually and stopped when her body signaled resistance. That pacing helped separate recovery from the old pattern of expecting discomfort and enduring it.
Physical improvement and emotional trust may move at different speeds.
Leilani explains that apprehension continued after much of the physical pain improved. Her experience leaves room for both parts of recovery rather than assuming one successful treatment step resolves every response immediately.
Continue the conversation.
Explore more guest features or hear the full episode with Leilani Volkman.